College Tidbits Blog

Guest Blogger: Anna Ivey

The day your college freshman packs up his or her bedroom and heads off to adulthood is both proud and nerve-wracking. At this point, you’ve pretty much done all you can do to prepare your child for life in the dorms.

As you drive away from campus, you envision your child’s college days filled with classes, new friend-making, studying, and Sunday night calls home, right?

Well, believe it or not, there are a few things about your child’s first year away from home that they will not fill you in on:

1. “I’m drinking more now than I ever did before.” More drinking goes on at college campuses than you could possibly imagine, and that new-found freedom can escalate very quickly into serious substance abuse problems. Thursday afternoon through Monday afternoon is one non-stop alcohol binge on many campuses, and if your kid seems to fall off the radar for half of every week, take action before his transcripts and his health suffer serious damage. If you think colleges are acting “in loco parentis,” think again.

2. “I’m homesick.” That new-found freedom can quickly overwhelm freshmen in other ways too, as they discover that freedom isn’t all fun. When they are home on break, keep an eye out for signs of depression in particular (noticeably different appetite, sleeping patterns, etc.).

3. “I’m on Academic Probation.” Even if you don’t think of college freshmen as adults yet, under the law they now have the privacy rights of adults, and that means you no longer have the automatic access you once did to their grades and other school records.

Students often conceal academic difficulties from their parents in college, and freshman year is usually the bumpiest of all, even for students who were high achievers in high school. Especially if you’re footing all or part of the bill, make sure that openness about grades and academic standing is part of the deal, and make sure they stay on track to graduate in four years. Intervene before they jeopardize their financial aid, which is contingent on good academic standing.

4. “I’m not taking care of myself.” Think they’re taking care of themselves properly in college? Don’t count on it. When they’re home, round them up for teeth cleanings, eye exams, and physicals.

5. “I hooked up with so-and-so last night!” Their sex lives are going to be totally unlike anything your generation remembers from college. Today’s parents would find the casualness of sexual activity in college and the cynicism of “hook-ups” breathtaking. In particular, the phenomenon of longer-term “friends with privileges” can be far more confusing to young adults than the one-night-stand/walk-of-shame of a different era.

While it’s far from politically correct to say so, young women in particular can find this sexual and (non) romantic landscape disorienting and destructive, while at the same time the college culture (including the grown-ups at Health Services and Women’s Centers) exerts enormous pressure to treat these no-strings-attached relationships as normal, healthy, and empowering.

6. “I’m in serious credit card debt.” College campuses are teeming with slick sales pitches and enticements from credit card companies that prey on the financial inexperience of freshmen. It will be tempting for your young adult to apply for every card offered, but even a few missed payments can result in credit reports that will show the damage of financial missteps for years to come. If their consumer debt is snow-balling, don’t be the last to know.

Young adults do a tremendous amount of “growing up” their first year in college. Remember that though your freshman will not tell you everything, he or she still needs your watchful care.

Keep open the lines of communication, don’t overwhelm your adult child with phone calls and check-ins, and above all else, be your freshman’s biggest cheerleader.

Career Expert, Anna Ivey, is the Former Dean of Admissions at the University of Chicago Law School and author of The Ivey Guide to Law School Admissions. Currently, she advises young people as they navigate life after college, helping them make life path decisions – career, graduate school, etc.

Anna Ivey may be contacted at http://www.annaivey.com/

Guest Blogger: Cynthia Frisby, Ph.D, Assoc. Professor, Advertising, University of Missouri

We’ve all had that question…A student is absent from class and comes up to you to ask, “Did I miss anything?” or “Did you do anything important in class today?” The following poem by Tom Wayman illustrates the various thoughts that have come to mind as I struggle to politely respond…

DID I MISS ANYTHING?
Question frequently asked by students after missing a class

Possible Answers:
Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here we sat with our hands folded on our desks in silence, for the full two hours

Everything. I gave an exam worth 40 percent of the grade for this term and assigned some reading due today on which I’m about to hand out a quiz worth 50 per cent

Nothing. None of the content of this course has value or meaning.
Take as many days off as you like: any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me and are without purpose

Everything. A few minutes after we began last time a shaft of light suddenly descended and an angel or other heavenly being appeared revealed to us what each woman or man must do to attain divine wisdom in this life and the hereafter, this is the last time the class will meet before we disperse to bring the good news to all people on earth

Nothing. When you are not present how could something significant occur?

Everything. Contained in this classroom is a microcosm of human experience assembled for you to query and examine and ponder This is not the only place such an opportunity has been gathered but it was one place.

And you weren’t here…

*Taken from “Difficult students” by Tom Wayman

Here’s a professor’s perspective on this question:
This question is an example of student-teacher miscommunication. Professors get annoyed by these questions because for many of us, most, if not all of our classes are important.

Why do we spend time preparing lectures? The answer to the question can almost always be found in the syllabus. So you should know that the reason this question bothers us is because we believe that a student should already know what happened in class.

It seems like the student expects the professor to give a blow-by-blow description of everything that happened for the entire class session.

My problem with asking me this question is that most students will either wait until just before class starts to talk to me, or they send me an e-mail wanting me to detail the day’s events.

Bottom line: it seems pretty clear that they don’t want the long answer because it is obvious that 5 minutes before class starts or responding to an e-mail does not provide enough time to answer the question.

Here’s how I interpret that question: “I didn’t care enough about your course to show up yesterday, but I’m sure that in the next few seconds or even in this e-mail you can teach me everything that I would have learned if I decided to show up for your 50-minute class-the class that you spent hours preparing.” Sounds crazy, I know, but I want to be honest and tell you that this is how I “hear”/interpret that question for sure!

What almost seems to be a pattern is this: the student that asks the question is often times the student that demonstrates other “disrespectful classroom behaviors” (i.e., talking during lecture, leaving early, chronic skipping, using the computer to surf the net, sleeping, reading the paper, etc)

So, should you just avoid asking your professor what happens when you’ve miss class? No, but think about how you ask the question first. That’s all I am saying.

Here’s how you should handle a missed class:
1) Figure out what information you already have. Read the syllabus (especially my syllabus. It is 24-pages long! Obviously I tell students everything they need to know in those 24 pages)

2) Read the textbook chapter that was assigned that day.

3) If you know that your professor gives a lot of notes, make arrangements to get the notes from another student in the class (I not only mention this in my syllabus, but go over this policy several times during the first week of classes).

4) Then, ask your instructor what you missed in a way that indicates that you’ve already done everything that you can do on your own. For example: “Dr. Frisby, I had to miss class on Friday. I read the chapter on media planning and I’m getting the notes from Katie. Did we go over anything else that I should know about?”

Now, I can’t speak for all of my colleagues, teachers, and professors, but I know that will stop me from interpreting the “did I miss anything important” question in the wrong way. When you state it to me in this way, it shows me that you are a serious, dedicated student.

Perhaps you did not intend to miss class. Perhaps something serious came up. Nonetheless, asking the question in this way is a much more positive way to solve the problem of missing work.

Just never, ever ask a professor if you missed “anything important.” Remember, what you are really saying is that “this class really doesn’t matter to me at all. But, I was wondering, was Friday an exception?”

I can say this (and my students will attest to it), Everything I teach is important to me; that’s why I teach. I spend hours working on power point presentations, finding great examples, multi-media uses, etc to make each and every class interesting and IMPORTANT.

The last time I chcked, the Internet was still about the sharing of information.

I recently received a newsletter from the SallieMae | College Answer site which contained a really great FREE “Packing for College Checklist” that students can use to help remind them of things to bring with them as they get ready to return or go to college.

The “Packing for College Checklist“ can save you time, help you get organized, and lower your stress level. Of course, you won’t need everything on this checklist, but it can make the process easier.